


The Road Will Lead You Home Again

by firemedicdiaz



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 4x08, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Christopher parent traps his dads, Eddie realizes that the person he's been missing has been right there the whole time, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 07:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30051750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firemedicdiaz/pseuds/firemedicdiaz
Summary: Eddie goes over to Buck's apartment to pick up Christopher after he runs away, or what should have happened in 4x08.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 22
Kudos: 432





	The Road Will Lead You Home Again

Buck jumped as his apartment door was thrown open and Eddie rushed in, his expression bordering on unhinged. Buck hadn’t been expecting him for at least another five minutes given the distance between Eddie’s house and his apartment, but it was unsurprising that Eddie had taken speed limits and stop signs as suggestions more than anything considering the fear and restless energy rolling off him in waves.

“Christopher?” Eddie barked, glancing around frantically.

Buck stepped closer, putting a hand on Eddie’s chest to stop him. 

“In the bathroom,” Buck explained. “He’s fine.”

He could feel Eddie’s chest heaving under the strain of his emotions and a frantic rush up three flights of stairs. Buck watched Eddie’s face, waited. It took a few moments for his words to sink in, but Eddie finally relaxed a fraction, dropping his shoulders and meeting Buck’s eyes.

“I’m sorry about all this,” Eddie said with a shake of his head, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. “We’re going to have a long, hard talk about boundaries when we get home.”

Buck shook his head, dropping his hand as Eddie calmed.

“Not until you’ve slept on it,” Buck said softly. “Christopher is going through some stuff right now and he needs kindness, not a reprimand.”

Buck could feel the tension return to Eddie’s body even though they were no longer touching.

“You think you know how to parent my son better than I do?”

Buck raised his hands in an attempt to diffuse the tension as Eddie went on the defensive.

“I’m not saying that,” Buck said quickly. “I’m just saying that we had a heart-to-heart and that I really think Chris could use some reassurance that this - you dating Ana - doesn’t mean that he’s going to be left behind.”

Eddie almost visibly flinched at Buck’s words, the anger leaving him in a rush, replaced by a sudden chill, an understanding. Eddie cursed quietly and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Is that what he said?”

Buck nodded, turning on his heel and making his way into the kitchen. Eddie followed along, leaning on the counter as Buck pulled two beers from the fridge and uncapped them, sliding one across the marble at Eddie.

“Between the shelter in place order and you dating again, he feels like everyone is leaving him,” Buck explained, taking a sip of his beer and regarding Eddie. “He told me that you promised him the two of you would try new things together after the whole skateboarding debacle, but this kind of came out of nowhere.”

Eddie cursed again, the conversation from that day coming back to haunt him. Of course Christopher was upset; bringing someone new into the family was a huge step, and Eddie hadn’t even asked Chris how he felt about it.

“Maybe you do know more about parenting him than I do,” Eddie said with a bitter laugh, his voice hollow.

“Come on, man, you know that’s not it,” Buck assured him, setting down his beer and coming around to Eddie’s side of the counter. He put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze, and Eddie would be lying if he said Buck’s touch wasn’t exactly what he needed right then. “Christopher came to me because he needed a friend, but he’s going to need his dad to walk him through this new normal.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Eddie lamented.

Buck’s hand stayed in place, its weight grounding Eddie as anxiety gnawed at him. It was terrifying, the realization that Christopher was growing up, understanding more than Eddie was giving him credit for, and Eddie wasn’t sure he was ready to take on some of the big conversations they needed to have. Shannon would have been great at it, and with her by his side it might not have been so dizzying, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to manage on his own. 

“Nothing worth doing is ever easy,” Buck said sagely like he was reading off a motivational poster. “But it’s worthwhile, and you’re not alone. You’ve got Bobby, and Hen, and - and you’ve got me. I may not be a dad, but I was a pretty messed up kid. If nothing else, I can tell you what  _ not _ to do.”

Eddie’s heart ached at Buck’s attempt at jest. Setting his beer down, he turned slowly to face his best friend, meeting Buck’s eyes. There, under a veil of confidence and conviction, behind the hurt at memories of his own childhood, Eddie saw a shadow of something different, something more. It was gone in a flash, before he could even begin to delve into it, but it made the gears in Eddie’s head turn a bit as he processed what that look might’ve meant.

Clearing his throat before he could get completely waylaid, deciding it was neither the time nor the place to dwell on whatever moment had just transpired, Eddie glanced around the apartment again.

“Christopher’s been in the bathroom a while, I should go check on him.”

“I’ll get him,” Buck interjected. “Make yourself at home.”

Eddie agreed with a nod, watching Buck disappear further into the apartment before making his way to the couch. Christopher’s crutches were propped against the side of it and Eddie relaxed a fraction at the tangible proof that Christopher was there and safe. He rested his elbows on his knees as he sat, dropping his head into his hands and wondering just where he’d screwed up parenting so badly that Christopher didn’t think he could open up and talk to him about what was on his mind.

_ “If we need to take a break, I’ll understand.” _

_ Eddie smiled and held up a hand. _

_ “Hold on, hold on. He and I can figure this out. In the meantime, I don’t want you going anywhere. Got that?” _

_ Ana’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, not that he’d noticed it at the time. He’d been too busy looking ahead to a future where he wasn’t so cripplingly alone. Of course he had his coworkers and his family. He also had Buck.  _

_ Buck, who would drop everything to help out even without Eddie having to ask. Buck, whom Christopher looked at like he’d hung the moon. Buck, who was in his heart and on his mind even when he was miles away.  _

_ But he needed someone in the in-between. Someone whose touch could calm him, ground him, who could reassure him that maybe he wasn’t making an absolute mess of parenting, learning, and growing as a person. Someone who could be his heart and his soul. His best friend. _

_ But he already had that too, didn’t he? _

_ “I got it,” Ana’s voice called to him through the cobwebs, returning him to that moment. _

_ “I’ll uh, talk to you later, okay?” _

_ “Okay.” _

Eddie shook his head, dispelling the unwelcome flashback. His heart beat heavily in his chest at the implications of the memory and he nearly jumped as a weight landed on the couch beside him. Looking over, Eddie found Christopher sitting at his side, his head bowed and looking so much younger and more innocent than Eddie was used to seeing.

Any remaining anger that Eddie felt disappeared as Christopher worried with the hem of his shirt, not meeting Eddie’s eyes. Eddie shifted closer, putting an arm around Chris’ shoulders and pulling him close, pressing a kiss into Christopher’s hair.

“I’m glad you’re safe,  _ mijo _ ,” Eddie murmured, holding Christopher tightly enough that the boy squirmed in his grip. “You scared me.”

“Sorry, dad,” Christopher said quietly, keeping his gaze averted. “I won’t do it again.”

“I appreciate that, but I want you to know that I’m not mad at you. I understand.”

Eddie’s compassion piqued Christopher’s interest and he finally looked up, cautiously meeting Eddie’s gaze. Eddie smiled, brushing a few stray curls away from Christopher’s forehead.

“I was wrong, buddy, and I’m sorry,” Eddie said softly. “I should have talked to you before I started dating again. That’s on me. I made a promise to you and I broke it, and now I’m going to make it right, okay?”

“How?” Christopher asked.

“By starting over,” Eddie replied with a courage that he wasn’t sure he could live up to. “By breaking it off with her and by starting again with someone else, but only if that’s okay with you.”

Christopher considered the words for a moment and smiled, nodding as he leaned into Eddie again and wrapped his arms around him. Eddie let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and embraced Chris, holding onto him for a long moment. He glanced up as he sensed movement in the periphery of his vision and found Buck watching the two of them from the kitchen.

“Can you start over with Buck?” Christopher asked, and Eddie’s heart nearly stopped as he wondered whether Buck could hear them from his vantage point. Buck’s face gave nothing away, and Eddie operated on the hope that they were out of earshot as he agreed to something he thought he’d have a little more time to process before acting on.

“I think that’s a great idea,” Eddie whispered, holding Christopher just a little tighter to borrow some of the boy’s unbridled courage and enthusiasm. “Do you think he’ll say yes?”

Christopher giggled.

“Yeah! He promised he wasn’t going anywhere.”

Eddie’s heart leapt at the implications of Buck’s promise to Christopher, settling into a quick, erratic drumbeat as he wondered whether Buck’s sentiments would stay the same once Eddie came out and admitted that he’d love nothing more than to have Buck in their lives forever, and not just for evenings and weekends.

“Okay,” Eddie said quietly. “Do you think I should do it now?”

Christopher nodded, giving Eddie a playful shove to get him going. Eddie took a slow, deep, steadying breath and stood, slipping his hands into his pockets to keep himself from fidgeting as he made his way into the kitchen. He could hear the drag of fabric on fabric as Christopher swiveled on the couch and he could feel Chris’ gaze on him as he made his way toward Buck. Buck’s expression was quizzical as Eddie approached and he slid Eddie’s beer in his direction again as though sensing Eddie’s nervousness. 

“Good talk?” Buck asked casually.

“Yeah, I think so,” Eddie replied. “We came to an understanding.”

Buck raised an eyebrow, wordlessly encouraging Eddie to go on.

“I’m breaking up with Ana.”

Eddie had expected surprise, disbelief, maybe, but not the warmth and approval that Buck’s expression held.

“You’re a good dad, Eddie. Chris is lucky to have you, and I’m sure you’ll find someone even better for you one day.”

Eddie picked up his beer and averted his gaze as he took a long swig.

“I’ve already got someone better.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie watched Buck tilt his head curiously. He could feel those blue eyes burning a hole straight through him and he took another sip before setting his beer down. The clink of glass on marble was louder than he’d intended as the bottle slipped from his nervous fingers and it didn’t escape Buck’s notice.

“Eddie?”

“I’ve had someone better for a while,” Eddie continued before he could talk himself out of it. “I just hope he’ll have me back.”

Eddie looked over pointedly to meet Buck’s gaze. He watched Buck process, the other man’s expression changing from confusion, to realization, to acceptance, and then to something else. Something that made Eddie weak-kneed as he realized just how desperately he’d wanted to see it in Buck’s eyes for so long. For longer than he cared to admit.

_ Approval _ .

“You mean… me?”

Buck had to be sure, of course. He had feelings of his own, feelings his tone and the way the words caught in his throat when he’d asked Eddie about his date had nearly belied. He’d never been good at reading people, though, and as much as he knew Eddie inside and out, he found it even harder to read him, and so he’d kept those feelings to himself. To see them being reciprocated was something Buck was both desperate and completely unprepared for.

“Yeah, Buck, I mean you.”

Their gazes stayed locked as Eddie moved around the counter between them, closing in on Buck. Eddie bit his lip, feeling suddenly shy, unsure of himself, and Buck’s heart swelled with love. Buck broke into a soft, easy smile, reaching out to wrap his arms around Eddie as the other man stepped into reach. Eddie sagged into Buck’s embrace, locking his hands around Buck’s waist and holding onto him, breathing him in.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that.”

Eddie pulled back just enough to be able to see Buck’s face. He chuckled softly, inhaling sharply a moment later as Buck tilted his head, pressing his lips to Eddie’s, effectively stealing his breath away. The joy Eddie felt as they connected was so deep and fulfilling that any doubts he had went up in smoke and he smiled into the kiss as Chris’ cheers of celebration filled the air.


End file.
